Spoiled brat, selfish, and socially awkward are just a few of the negative stereotypes I have been called when I mention I am an only child. They appear in everyday conversations and even in interviews as a get-to-know-you question.
Yet, what if this stereotype isn’t always the truth? Global research studies combined with my only child experience encourages an alternative perspective.
Only children are often similar to their peers, despite longstanding beliefs that they are different. Only children have multiple advantages in their upbringing, such as greater independence and earlier maturity. I can attest, as an only child myself, that not every only child is the same, and not every only child fits these accusations.
I have been in many conversations where I have been accused of being quiet and introverted because of my status as an only child. I have been told that my personality is unique because I have no siblings to interact with. Negative stereotypes persist in everyday conversation, and personality differences are a common and frequent misconception.
Research from the Journal of Research in Personality suggests that these personality differences are actually very small. A 2016 study on a large number of New Zealand adults analyzed those with siblings and only children using a personality test. Researchers concluded that “beliefs about only children appear to contradict actual group differences.”
This study found little truth in the idea of personality differences, and despite these findings, attitudes towards only children still remain prevalent. “A recent Gallup poll of American adults found that just 3% would describe a one child family as ideal,” according to the Journal of Research in Personality.
Another common stereotype is that only children are socially awkward due to their lack of sibling or peer interaction at a young age. I myself have always been somewhat quieter, and because of that, many people assumed it must be as a result of being an only child.
While siblings are definitely a positive way to help children develop social skills, that is not the only environment in which these skills can be taught. Children interact with peers in school, sports, clubs or other friendships, which require essential communication skills. Personality is also not just affected by siblings. Some children are naturally more extroverted, while others are more introverted.
In a 2024 study from the Humanities and Social Sciences Communications journal, researchers conducted a study on only children in China and determined “that being an only child significantly increased prosocial tendencies in children, particularly those related to traits, relationships, and altruism.”
This study counteracts the negative only child stereotypes and proposes the alternative that only children actually have positive experiences in building relationships with others. While there is no way to guarantee this accounts for everyone’s experience, this certainly shifts the narrative away from the widely accepted socially awkward perception.
Research also suggests that being an only child can cultivate greater independence. In a study done in 1979, Claudy et. al concluded that “adolescents and young adults without siblings were more ‘cultured’ and socially sensitive, more likely to engage in intellectual and solitary pursuits, extracurricular activities, reading, collecting, clubs, hobbies, raising animals, acting, singing, dancing, etc.”
This research aligns with my only child experience, getting to pursue my individual interests and hobbies at a young age. I believe this time spent by myself allowed me to understand who I was earlier on in life and where I found some of my passions that I continue to carry with me to this day.
Yet, this stereotype would not exist if there were not some truth to it. Many researchers argue that only children are at a certain disadvantage at a young age without sibling interaction. Sibling relationships undeniably teach valuable relationship skills early on, yet I do not believe these skills are exclusive to just the family nucleus.
Children can still develop skills such as cooperation and teamwork outside of family life in a variety of settings, such as on a sports team or in a classroom. Especially in a modernized world where children lack face-to-face interactions more than ever, the belief that only children are the ones strictly lacking social experience is simply untrue.
The stereotype of the “spoiled only child” reflects more on cultural beliefs and behaviors rather than actual scientific evidence. The stereotype of the spoiled brat or socially awkward only child has existed for years, but research continues to show it is more fiction than fact. Anyone’s personality can be shaped by a variety of factors, but upbringing alone isn’t responsible for everything.
As an only child myself, this title is something that I carry with pride. Instead of judging only children by assuming the worst of them, maybe it is time to acknowledge just how different the reality is from the longstanding negative stereotypes we choose to use.
Grace Tylee is a copy editor and head editor of The Setonian’s Social Media. She can be reached at grace.tylee@student.shu.edu.
