“Ball is life?” More like “Bed is life.”
For all the success Seton Hall men’s basketball had this season (21 wins, fourth-place in the BIG EAST, the greatest turnaround in program history), one thing was almost always lacking, particularly at their home games: the student section.
Apart from a few exceptions, the lower-bowl seating meant for students during the Pirates’ games at the Prudential Center was consistently empty, for reasons unknown.
But after months of speculation as to why student turnout was so poor, the university has finally arrived at a rationale—one which the university’s athletics department might struggle to wrap their heads around.
As first reported by Trust Me Bro Poll students at SHU would rather rot in bed and watch games remotely, or even not at all, than attend them in person, hence why the student section was so consistently empty this season.
“Our survey study and behavioral analysis found that students at Seton Hall are chronic ‘homebodies,’” said an excerpt from the Trust Me Bro Poll survey. “They also show signs of ‘clinophilia,’ or a longing for the comfort of their beds that discourages them from leaving their residences and/or taking advantage of the free busing to and from the games the university provides them to cheer on the men’s basketball program.”
The report also identified several factors contributing to this trend, including the most prevalent among them being students: still dealing with the effects of the COVID-19 pandemic years later; wanting to maximize their “aura” as to appear “mysterious” and/or “nonchalant” by not going; and a dedication to their mobile devices.
“The time I spent in Newark at the game I could have spent in my bed doomscrolling,” said Solomon Lee, a sophomore journalism student who participated in the study. “I’d rather watch brainrot than basketball, any day.”
In response to the report, the university’s Athletics Department issued a statement outlining their intentions to offer more appropriate incentives for students next year.
“Seton Hall University Athletics is dedicated to providing students with the best gameday experience possible,” the statement read. “Next season, we plan on incentivizing student attendance by offering designated times for them to scroll, halftime performances by influencers like The Rizzler, and promotional items like a Seton Hall-brand Tote Bag, with a complimentary Matcha drink and pair of earbuds as well.”
Zachary Mawby is the head editor of The Setonian’s Sports section. He can be reached at zachary.mawby@student.shu.edu.
