For many young adults, college is the first time they regularly spend time on their own.
Despite busy schedules and new faces on campus, students should take time for themselves, even if it means doing the things they want to do alone.
Recently, there’s been an increase in “solo date” videos online, where people take themselves out on dates to museums, restaurants, coffee shops, parks, or anywhere people normally go with another person. Is this just another online trend, or are people finding themselves through it?
Some Seton Hall students don’t think it’s much of a trend— it’s a part of life that’s been disrupted by technology.
Chloee Lynch, a junior diplomacy and international relations major, said technology pushed our generation away from being confident alone.
“I think people have idealized constant interaction with each other, and that's because of phones,” Lynch said. “But back before phones existed, it was very common that you would have to be alone until you went over and planned something with someone. You had to be a lot more comfortable being alone.”
Many students have been going on “solo dates” for a while, but never called them dates before. Maribel Grasman, a sophomore diplomacy major, would regularly go during her freshman year.
“The Lincoln Center live streams their performances in the lobby for free and so there were several times that I went to Lincoln Center to watch orchestra concerts and stuff,” Grasman said.
Her reasoning wasn’t trend-driven; rather, it was the value of the experience.
“Most of the time, it's either my social battery is kind of low but I'm still looking to do something,” Grasman said. “Or people are doing other things, but I still value the experience, so I decide to go anyway, even if I don't have friends to go with me.”
Lia Johnson, a junior finance and management major, agreed with the sentiment of using solo dates to recharge.
“Sometimes it's nice and peaceful to just be by yourself, listen to music, and it's a good way to de-stress,” Johnson said.
The “dating” part of this trend isn’t unintentional; some people are taking to solo dating as a way to treat themselves without having a significant other.
“I think dating isn't as successful as it used to be, so I think people are leading toward kind of taking themselves out,” Johnson said. “It's a pretty good idea, especially for someone who's single and enjoys being single.”
However, not all students see the appeal of solo dating. Qingan Leasure, a junior diplomacy and math major, said he understands the trend but is not interested in participating.
“I think if they want to get out and do something, then it makes sense, I just personally wouldn't spend money with myself,” Leasure said.
Other students are not as comfortable being alone but are interested in going on solo dates, which is the case for junior psychology major Micheala Gross.
“For me personally, I would get takeout from a restaurant and then eat it in the car, because I'm not at a stage where I can eat in a restaurant by myself,” Grosso said.
There is a stigma around solo dating, with some seeing judgment as an obstacle. Maghan Grace, a junior social behavior sciences major, said there’s a way around the stigma.
“I feel like many people look at you and you feel like you're being judged sometimes, but I think we make that more of an issue than other people actually think,” Grace said. “At the end of the day, no one actually knows you're alone—only you do.”
Both Grace and Grassman alluded to the trend making young people more comfortable with themselves
“I feel like it is meaningful, it shows you can do things independently, and it's good to be your own self,” Grace said.
“If this is helping people connect with themselves and learn things about themselves and spend time with themselves, I don't think it's a bad thing,” Grassman added. “People should learn how to be alone with themselves.”
Regardless of trend cycles, solo dating’s underlying lesson of self-love may continue for Grace.
“I think it's important to enjoy your own company before you enjoy someone else's company,” Grace said. “At the end of the day, you only have yourself.”
Lynch believes this trend has more depth than just another online trend, pointing out that this generation has been “fully raised on phones.”
“People [are] recognizing that being on your phone 24/7 and bed rotting when you don't have somebody to hang out with isn't the norm,” Lynch said.
“People finally getting off their phones and getting back into the world and being okay with being alone even if they can't have someone to immediately go hang out with,” Lynch added.
Kaitlyn Campeau is a writer for The Setonian’s Features section. She can be reached at kaitlyn.campeau@student.shu.edu.
