It was around this time in my freshman year when I came very close to submitting applications to transfer out of Seton Hall. I would have gone anywhere, but I was pretty sure I wasn't staying here.
It was not that there weren't friendly people here; people who I went to the Caf with or hung out with on occasion, but the fact was that after many of my friends left at the beginning of the second semester, close friendships were already formed and I found myself with more quasi-acquaintances.
So by the end of the year I was exhausted from the effort of putting on my best self every day to ensure I was an attractive personality to potential friends, and by the end of the day I was too wrought to put true effort into my assignments. I thought it might be best if I left.
In some sort of truly serendipitous coincidence, I got the e-mail that offered me a copy-editing job at The Setonian a few days before the self-imposed date I had for deciding whether to transfer. The editorial board was a sort-of default family, a dysfunctional and sometimes grueling one, but a family nonetheless.
I am eternally grateful for being offered that position and for my editor at the time who encouraged me to apply. Without her, I never would have wound up as the digital editor, or surrounded by other intelligent and interesting people who make up The Setonian's editorial board. I probably wouldn't have even been at Seton Hall.
I am also, grudgingly, accepting of the nights I spent miserable and alone. I wish they hadn't happened, but they gave me some time to truly figure out what I wanted from my college experience, and who I wanted to be there.
When I did find close friends, (because, inevitably, I did,) I treasured them more than I probably otherwise would have. I made sure to live the full college experience, getting involved as much as I could, working as hard as I could, taking advantage of as many opportunities as I could and having as much fun as I could. I am looking forward to graduating, but I will always fondly remember Seton Hall and The Setonian for helping to make me the strong resilient and happy person I am today.
Caitlin Carroll is a senior journalism major from Mastic Beach, N.Y. She can be reached at Caitlin.email@example.com.