Well, I’m here.
This is officially the last piece I will ever write for The Setonian. This paper has been my home for the past four years; it has defined my college experience. I’ve given my entire life to this paper over the past four years, and I will never, ever downplay the profound effect the experiences I’ve had and the people I’ve met have had on my life.
This certainly wasn’t the senior column I thought I was going to write. “Senior year” ended prematurely, when classes were switched to online. I started working my internship from home and without knowing it, I had my last production night for the paper due to the spread of coronavirus.
When I received the news of this, on top of the fact that I wouldn’t be walking in a graduation in May and I didn’t get a job I was sure I was going to get, it was a lot to process. In the course of a week, my whole life changed, and I’ll admit it, I felt sorry for myself.
About a week went by before I had a total meltdown. I had been contemplating going on anxiety medication for some time; I’ve always been high strung, but that paired with everything that was going on in my life a month ago pushed me over the edge. I gave in, I needed help.
I’ll be the first to admit that calming down over the past month has a lot to do with my medication. I didn’t do this on my own. But one thing in particular I have noticed that has started happening is I’m really just going with the flow more. I don’t freak out about every little thing and start breathing heavily like I used to. I’m learning to let go of the things I can’t control.
I’ve always been a planner. I make lists of everything, check things off and add things to them constantly. I always know what my next step is. That’s just the way I am. And I still am for the most part, but I’m learning to check the things off my lists that I have no say in. I can’t always plan everything.
I’m still a little freaked out about this whole situation – we all are. My feelings are valid, but there’s something comforting about the fact that this is a shared experience.
Right now, I don’t know what my next step is, and you know what? I’m living through a global pandemic, so that’s alright.
I have so much in my life that I have to be thankful for: great friends, supportive parents and a boyfriend who loves me dearly. I have a roof over my head, water to drink and food to eat. What am I worried about?
Finally, I want to thank everyone I’ve worked with at The Setonian over the years. Gary Phillips and Ashley Turner, for bringing me into the family and taking a chance on me. My staff over the past three semesters for being the best there is and faculty advisor B.J. Schecter, who has mentored me throughout almost every step. You all mean the world to me. You’re all more important than my lists.
Isabel Soisson is a senior journalism major and political science minor from Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. She can be reached at email@example.com. Find her on Twitter @IsabelSoisson.