Horror: Frankenstein remake a scary mess, not a scary movie

A new incarnation of Mary Shelley’s story opened in theaters on Jan. 24: “I, Frankenstein.” While there is plenty of drama and demon-filled action curb your expectations from anything greater.

Created by the makers of the “Underworld” series, the film offers plenty opportunity for our protagonist, played by Aaron Eckhart, to battle in the mythical world.

The story unfolds 200 years after Shelley’s literary work ends, our immortal monster finds himself yet again in a battle where his eternal life seems to be the recurring source of his problems.

The evil demons so vehemently pursuing the monster seek his immortality to produce their own zombie race that will, of course, rule the earth.

Righteous gargoyles, on the other hand, will at all costs try prevent this as it will unleash a Pandora’s Box of problems they undoubtedly prefer not to deal with.

The movie frequently bounces back and forth between mortally serious dialogue and supernaturally justified action scenes – all without a touch of humor to alleviate the absurdity of it all. Regardless of the brutally clich?┬ęd plot, director Stuart Beattie puts his best foot forward — while retaining a PG-13 rating, mind you.

This is the fifth take on stealing Frankenstein’s monster’s immortality (see “Van Helsing”), where demons replace vampires and gargoyles substitute for werewolves, and the plot lacks originality. Of course, with a few million dollars and exceptionally talented people, you can make a bad idea start to look pretty convincing, but the 6 percent rating on Rotten Tomatoes speaks for itself.

If you want to be distracted from the hustle and bustle of everyday life for 92 minutes, check out “I, Frankenstein,” but don’t expect anything more than a pleasant distraction. While the ending alludes to a franchise, it is time the immortal Frankenstein’s monster spent some quality time underground.

Abbas Khan Cook can be reached at abbas.khancook@student.shu.edu.

Author: Staff Writer

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