Making a case for the new Facebook: What are you complaining about?
Unlike everyone else, I am more entertained by the new Facebook than I was before. Granted, it is a little more invasive. Facial recognition to tag my photos? Alright, Mark Zuckerberg, maybe that helps. Guessing I am typing someone’s name before I finish typing? A little weird. Categorizing my friends for me by location, relation and activity? Borderline stalking. Having a ticker feed of all of my friends’ interactions with people I am not even friends with? Definite stalking. Lines are being crossed, and people are talking. But does it really matter? Now the pictures of the girls I never wanted to see again after high school wearing outfits that should not have been put together in the first place are blown up in high definition. Personally, this is a victory for Facebook addicts and those like me who want to grab some popcorn and watch the show. The feed is updated instantly, so I can always know if that girl who dropped out of eighth grade that types incoherent statuses is with her boyfriend or not. They broke up, by the way, and she quoted Lil Wayne to prove it. So it goes. The controversy of the layout has hit the airwaves, and yes, Zuckerberg is still a very crafty rich man who has made himself a comfortable seat on the Forbes list. So why do we care? People who often use Facebook as if the events of their lives are some gift to the human race are the same people using the new Facebook to complain… about the new Facebook. The problem is that no matter how complicated and time-consuming these sites become, we continue figuring out how to use them. We always improvise, but not without a little senseless complaining and passive-aggressiveness along the way. In the 1990’s, Stephanie Tanner stole DJ’s diary and read all of her secrets. Now, all she would have to do is log into any website and read her sister’s statuses, tweets or tumbles. I personally have accounts on Facebook, Twitter, and Tumblr, and yes, I survived the glorious revolution out of Xanga, Myspace and AOL. I think I have a Google+ account, but am sort of embarrassed to say I do not remember all the social media I have buried myself in. Of course we all use these things as a source of keeping in touch, getting news, and most importantly, procrastination. I do not always look at pictures of ridiculously adorable baby animals on Tumblr, but when I do, I should be working on a research paper. People who are addicted to posting online make my day. How else would I survive my week without reading how you are “vaguebooking” (a term I heard recently which refers to the practice of posting a status or tweet, usually consisting of sappy song lyrics or the ever-mysterious pronoun “you”) to your on-again, off-again significant other? Let me reiterate that I am not complaining about our addiction to social media, because it really brightens my day to know that you have to work at 6 a.m., that you do not want to study, or that you hate the new Facebook. Please, do tell me more. The sky is blue, the grass is green, and technology is going to update itself. Plus, if Facebook keeps getting more complicated, maybe Aunt Jane will quit commenting all your posts. Charlotte is a sophomore journalism major from Verona, NJ. She can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org.