Hogwarts classes SHU should offer:
10. Muggle Studies:Understanding the world around us.
9. Herbology: Then maybe we can make the trees smell better
8. Charms: So you no longer have to rely on Securitas
7. Ancient Runes: Understanding the SHUFLY schedule
6. Care of Magical Creatures: Getting rid of the raccoons in the Turrell dumpsters
5. Apparition: So you never have to walk alone
4. Transfiguration: Making your GDS food taste better
3. Defense Against the Dark Arts: Defense Against the Dark Streets, rather.
2. Potions: You can put the caffeine back in Four Loko.
1. Divination: So we can predict next week’s news.